Good Children

Letting the kids do the dirty work

Marguerite got a present last year that I couldn't stand. It was tacky, predictable and featured cherubs. Unfortunately it was something that I couldn't toss. I put it high on a shelf so that Adelaide couldn't get to it as it was breakable and hoped that it would just disappear.

I found Addy playing with it the other day and realized that The Husband had been getting it down for her. No matter how many times I put it back up, it would be down the next day.

This afternoon while I was playing on the internet tending to Daisy, I heard a crash followed by Addy's cries. I went to inspect the damage and found Daisy's present smashed to smithereens all over the stairs.

I then commended Adelaide for a job well done. I'm so going to hell.

What happened here?

I'm not sure what exactly went on here but there have been plenty of occasions when I have wanted to knock "concerned" citizens over the head with a baseball bat after they've made inquiries about my infant.

Comments and questions that could incite such violence include:

"What are you feeding that kid?"
"What are YOU eating?"
"Was it a vaginal birth?"
"Is she wearing sunscreen?"
"Where are your socks?"
"Where is her hat?"
"WATCH OUT FOR HER NECK!"

And my all time favorite ...

"She doesn't look a thing like you."

Liar, liar

I struggled with my conscious for two whole years as to whether or not I would lie to my children about Santa Claus. However, I have no problem telling them that the child-stealing gypsies are outside whenever I hear the ice-cream truck.

Seriously, why on earth would I want to tell them the truth about that one? I can't afford a daily fudge pop habit for myself, never mind the girls.

Hairdresser

After a two flights with a two year old and a six month old I arrived in New Orleans a bit frazzled today. Daisy screamed for a good part of the second flight, I tried to calm her, nurse her and make her fall asleep. I considered smothering her for the sake of the other passengers but I figured I would miss her eventually. It turned out that after a half an hour of lullabies and boobs, all she wanted was her own seat ... like her big sister. So there I sat for the remainder of the flight, totally dissed, while my two daughters played with their toys -- each in their own seat on the airplane.

Oh, except for when Evi had to go "toilet" but screamed in protest when I tried to show her the airplane bathroom. I had to enlist the flight attendant to hold Daisy while I dealt with Addy and her new phobia.

I had hopes of getting a hair cut today. The Husband took the afternoon off from work so on the way back from the airport, I called two salons but there were no openings. After dropping the luggage off at the house, I physically visited four different salons -- each of which said that they had no openings. WTF? Doesn't anyone work on a Tuesday? I know that it was near 5 pm but CHRIST I was desperate. They all told me to come back, "tomorrow." I explained to them that I had two small children ... blah, blah, blah. Nadda. My only remaining option was to go to Super Cuts which I vowed never to do again so I returned home, grabbed my scissors and cut it myself.

Somehow cutting my hair off at 31 was not quite as satisfying as it was at 16 especially since my dad is not here to clean up the back and The Husband refuses to help. All in all I consider it a success and a huge financial savings of $40 to $90 depending on which salon would have taken me today. After all, it looks fine from the front.

Snot overload

I've written a thousand posts over the past few weeks -- they're all in my head though. I also came up with some clever post titles but I've forgotten them all. Eh.

Ok, Adelaide's cold is clearing up. Daisy has caught it however and both have recently endured cold related eye infections that cover their lashes in some lovely green slime every morning. It's beautiful, I assure you. I've only caught a bit of a cold and The Husband, well, he doesn't live here anymore since taking on a recent case.

Well, I take that back, he can be found in the house between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am. However, due to his big win today, I might actually be able to have dinner with him this evening.

Anyway, where was I? We are trucking right along with the potty training with the exception that once Addy takes her clothes off to use the toilet, she won't put them back on. Today I heard myself say, "you can't rub an apple on your butt." Then after I threw the fruit away, two hours of tantruming ensued. Loooove it.

Due to her recent cold, we were been spared from the high pitch screaming that Adelaid responds with any time that I try to discipline her. It's back now and my ears hurt.

My brother recently asked me why I don't just let her do whatever she wants. I know that he was teasing but I DO pretty much abide to her every wish. The other morning she wanted a banana so I snapped the stem so she could peel it and she freaked out 'cause I had done so. I then took that banana and gave her a new one. She peeled it herself, broke it in two and then threw a tantrum because it was "broken." Fortunately my father was here to witness his blessed granddaughter's behavior.

This morning Addy wanted a chocolate sandwich (Nutella) for breakfast and I said sure. I put it together, cut it down the middle like I always do and handed it to her. A tantrum then ensued because I had broken yet another item of food. You know what stopped the fight this time? A piece of tape. I taped her sandwich and she went on her merry way.

She won't let me brush her hair, wash her face or dress her. She is filthy but I love her anyway. However, I can't wait for pre-school which is an entirely different set of issues that I am sick of talking about.

OK! Some things have gone right recently. We finally re-financed the house to put the construction loan together with our mortgage and it's all at a lower percentage than what we originally had which makes me very happy. We also took out enough to rebuild the porch. Construction is completed and they are just finishing up the paint today. We have two off-street parking spaces and the yard is full of gravel to keep our feet from getting wet ever time it rains. I love the new porch, it's gorgeous and we don't live in fear of getting sued anymore. I can't tell you how many people fell down our front steps. Pictures to come soon.

Also, during my dad's recent visit, we managed to paint what was once our bedroom and hang a new light fixture to create a dining room. Now I only need some chairs to add to a table that come with the house.

I'm waiting for our slime days to end. Addy's favorite place to wipe her nose is my arm but that's only when she's not licking it.

Another reason I don't leave the house

We had a one-year-old's birthday party to go to over the weekend. Her brother is three months older than Addy and usually beats her up. The two of them together is a constant scream fest and there's little worse than seeing your daughter get knocked over and hit continuously.  I can't blame the mom because she corrects the behavior immediately.

At the birthday party there was none of the aggressive behavior that we had been seeing for months. In fact he and Adeladie were cooperating fully. They spent so much time together that he made Addy sick. Hooray!

Poor Adelaide is stationed on the couch today while we watch the Disney channel line up. I'm not sure how much more Kim Possible I can take.

Fangs

I picked Daisy up from her nap the other day and noticed a red welt on her thigh. It was hard to the touch and about the size of a quarter. I looked more closely and saw two small purple dots and immediatetly thought that they looked like fang impressions. I knew that they weren't as the puncture marks were about 1/4 of and inch apart and much too big for anything living in our house.

I called the pediatrician to see if there was anything I should be on the look out for (foaming at the mouth, speaking in tongues, etc.). The doctor asked me to draw a circle around the edges of the welt with a ballpoint pen. If the redness grew outside of the line overnight, bring her in; otherwise she would be fine. I dutifully traced Daisy's welt, hoping that Addy didn't catch me drawing on her sister and think that it was a good idea.

I then called The Husband who has a terrible fear of spiders. I explained to him that the "fang" marks looked too far apart to be an actual spider bite.

"Tarantulas have fangs that far apart," he proposed.
"When was the last time you saw a tarantula in our bedroom?" I countered.

Daisy continued to act normally as the day drew to a close. Finally The Husband returned home and inspected the injury.

"Isn't that where she got inoculated yesterday?" He asked.
"Um, maybe."
"How many shots did she get?"
"Uh, two?" I guess that would explain the "fang" effect."

It turns out that it was the pediatrician who "bit" Violet. Having babies has made me an idiot, plain and simple.

Loooooove it!

I am truly in love with my new bathroom trash can. Can I get any more boring? It's rectangular and fits in the narrow space between our vanity and the wall. It has replaced a parade of paper bags that served me well until I could find the perfect receptacle and perfect it is. The reason why I really love it is because it was around $20 at Target and has wings on the side that hold a standard, plastic shopping bag in place. No more slouching trash bags.

Today was the first day that my new cleaning lady came and I love her almost as much as the aforementioned trash can. My house hasn't been this clean since, well, since the last time I hired someone to clean it. She did a fantastic job and she even let Addy tag along behind her.

Daisy is teething. She already has two teeth and there must be more coming because she is one miserable puppy around bed and nap times. I am miserable as well as she likes to bite down on things to relieve the pain ... fleshy things like fingers and oh, nipples.

Finally, every parent blogger that I read has belabored over what to call their nether regions in front of their children. Some people opt for cutesy names but I was determined to go for the proper names just like I was taught. I chose to go with "vulva" because it is more clinically correct than that other "V" word. I belabored over this for longer than I should have and was very clear to instruct The Husband that this was the word that we would use. However I did not bother to put any thought into what Addy would call her buttocks. Consequently, Addy runs around constantly talking about her vulva and "booty."

Baby Legs!

My favorite picture of Addy was the first one that I caught of her smiling. This is the first picture of Daisy's smile and it is already a favorite.

Beth had her baby and I wish them a hearty congratulations. We were lucky enough to meet her and Mia during our All American Tour over the summer. Evangeline kept stealing Mia's toys because she's rotten like that.

We have had a difficult time finding a bank to consolidate our mortgage with the home equity line that we used to add the camelback due to us owning a multi-family home and wanting "cash out" to pay the equity line. Despite stellar credit scores the fact that we are just moving debt around, not creating more, I've been on this project since October. Thank you mortgage crisis. Anyway, it has all worked out for the best because rates have fallen dramatically and we are able to get 5.875% at a local bank with no points. Hallelujah! It'll be nice to have one bill instead of two and we will finally be done with that stupid mortgage insurance nonsense.

All on a Mardi Gras Day

My street woke up around 7:30 this morning but it's quiet again. It could be that it was I that woke up at 7:30 while my street was going to bed though. We have a Carrollton Hunters' Indian living a couple houses down so I was hoping to hear drums but they're probably all downtown ... or wherever it is that the Indians go as I've never gotten up early enough to track them down.

We will not be doing Zulu this year. Last year was a horrible, territorial disaster. Of course much of last season felt like that with Endymion following the Uptown route but they are back where they belong now. I thought that we would make it to Rex but we were out late last night and the house is asleep.

We went to a shrimp boil and Addy was a trooper. She hit manic mode around nine-o-clock and I was sure that it was going to end badly but she kept dancing and laughing well past eleven at our friend's house. We're going to pay for it today, I know.

It had been so long since I had been out after eight in the evening that I was giddy with excitement. I've felt nearly human this Mardi Gras season as I've caught up with old friends and The Husband took more of a childcare role which left me baby-free for brief moments.

Well, it's Mardi Gras and I don't think I have it in me for that final push out the door but we'll probably catch up with friends later today once we get our act together and get the house in order.